Pen Name

I chose a pen name for this project. The name I chose still has the exact same meaning as my given name, but the pen name allows me to explore multiple genres. I know people tell you to niche down and pick one lane or one path, but I’m choosing not to. I have more books in me, and more ideas I’m working through, and I don’t want the system to try to force me to be one thing, and express in one way. The pen name in this case allows me to be fully authentic in my writing for this genre, and have space to write in other genres, like Children’s literature, and novels.

The Process

It started with me living my life and writing through it. I was writing to off load some pain and grief, but I was also writing to express joy and love.
Some pieces are poems. Some are journal-style. Some are fiction. Some are just thoughts I had while walking to the store, or hiking, or watching the rain.

Most of them lived in notebooks or my notes app. Just small notes in the margins or prose that fill up 5 journal pages. Eventually, I dumped everything into Google Docs and started sorting through it all.

Then came editing—which took the longest. It brought up all those old feelings again and I cried through it. I fully lost myself in the feeling and really finally let it all go. I accepted the areas where i felt deep anger and the areas when I felt loved. I wasn’t just fixing typos. I was trying to keep the feelings and communicate them clearly to readers in the future. I felt a little bashful editing some, but ultimately, I didn’t want to lose my voice just because I was “cleaning it up.” So, I took my time. and slowly moved through all of them.

I Wanted It to Feel Like a Story

Even though it’s a book of poems and thoughts, I wanted it to take you somewhere. I wrote a story spine. I mapped out chapters. I gave each one a theme and chose quotes to help move the reader along. I even wrote a few new poems just to bridge the emotional gaps.

Then I wrote mini backstories and summaries for the chapters and the poems themselves—so if someone ever asked “why this one?”, I’d have an answer.

That pre- planning helped me lay the whole thing out.

I Designed the Book Too

I’m still learning design, but I built it all myself: the chapter covers, the book cover, the back cover. I made sure the layout felt good to read. I even created doodles for a few poems, but decided to save those for print because of dark mode issues in digital.

Layout took about four days of focused work. I remember dancing around when I only had 10 poems left to place.

Then I fought with ePub formatting. Reflowable text ruined my layout, so I locked it down as a fixed layout to keep control.

The Reality Check

Once the file was done, I hit a wall: I needed an ISBN.
I was broke. Like negative in all three bank accounts broke. I lost my job in January and only just started a new contract in April, and have not been paid yet. So, I boo-hoo’d about money being the road black YET AGAIN! Then i decided it wouldnt be.

I reached out to family and a good friend and Two Apple Pay transactions later, I bought my Bowker ISBN and got the book on the publishing platforms.

And now… it’s published.

I’m Excited. I’m Proud. I’m Nervous as Hell.

This is 5-year-old me’s dream. I always said I wanted to be a writer. I just didn’t know I’d do it like this—with no money, no big publisher, no fancy rollout. Just my words, my vision, and people who love me helping me cross the finish line.

These last few months reminded me that I still want to write. Not just for other people. Not just for work. But for me. The journaling, the prayers, psalms and poems fill my heart, and heal the aches. I decided that 2024 would be the last year that I let fear stand in the way of me and my goals. If I fail, I learned. But this time….I succeeded.

I made myself a pomise and I did it. While scared. While broke. While unsure.
And now that I’ve done it once, I know I can do it again.

Read the Book

📖 Available now on Apple Books and Google Books
🎁 Free until May 20th anf $15 digital after that
📦 Print copies will be available for pre-order in October

To everyone who supported me—thank you. You helped make this real.
And I’m just getting started.