The term “Pollyanna” has become a bit of a backhanded compliment in today’s culture. Originating from the classic 1960 Disney movie based on Eleanor H. Porter’s novel, Pollyanna tells the story of a young girl whose relentless optimism changes the hearts of everyone around her. Over time, though, “Pollyanna” has taken on a different meaning, often used as an insult to describe someone as naive or overly positive in the face of reality. When someone calls you a Pollyanna, they’re suggesting that your optimism is unrealistic, that you’re out of touch with the challenges around you. But is that always the case? Is choosing to see the good in life really the same as ignoring its difficulties?

Embracing a Pollyanna perspective: living with optimism

A few years back, someone called me Pollyanna when I expressed my positive outlook on a number of experiences that I had. He said that I was being naive and that my optimism was childish. I took on focusing on gratitude a few years ago after I experienced a very low season. I wasn’t sure I wanted to live and felt like the mistakes that I made couldn’t be overcome.

I think some people think it’s naive to look for the good in awful situations because they think it hinders problem-solving, or it means that things won’t go your way. In that person’s opinion, I wasn’t moving fast enough or being aggressive enough in managing the situation.

I started a gratitude practice. I focused my energy on all the things I was grateful for and all the things that had changed over the years. It brightened my outlook. I was able to get my feet back on solid ground until i could get in therapy to work through the experiences and thought patterns that led me down that road.

Naiveté vs positive outlook: understanding the difference

I readily admit that I had a “Barbie’s dream house” or “Disney princess happily ever after” view of the world. I genuinely believed Happily ever after was just inevitable. I thought we were fated to meet just the right folk and have just the right experiences and it wouldn’t be work, but after I graduated college, everything changed.

I went from working as a deputy field director on former President Obama’s re-election campaign to cleaning toilets in office buildings for a little bit more than minimum wage with two bachelor’s degrees and five years of work experience under my belt. That was the point that I realized that life isn’t just handed to you. you have to look for the people, the jobs, and the experiences that make your life whole. While there are still moments when I put my trust in people who don’t deserve it, I maintain my optimism. There are no losses, just lessons.

Things have been hard in the past, and I imagine hardship might come again, but I’m still going to look for the positive outcomes. How can i turn this trial into to play? How can i make this challenge enjoyable? that way it is just a lesson to keep me from repeating mistakes.

Time for managing new realities

2022- 2024 have been years of immense change—some welcomed, others deeply challenging. There were things beyond my control, like two failed IUI cycles, the passing of a dear friend, the passing of my grandmother, and a layoff. And then there were the difficult choices I made for a better life: leaving a toxic marriage, moving homes, and learning to set boundaries. Each change, no matter how hard, has come with important lessons. I’ve learned that anger, while uncomfortable, is often a signal that something isn’t right. I’ve realized that even the most disappointing outcomes can sometimes be for the best. And in the midst of it all, I’ve allowed myself to cry, not just from pain, but from the beauty found in unexpected moments.

These days I am sleeping on a futon in my mother’s house and reviewing the last 7 years of mistakes, and victories. I’m also contemplating what I want to focus on in the next 7 years. I understand this isn’t the “ground floor. ” I’m not exactly where I want to be, and this doesn’t look exactly the way that I want it to look, but I’ve landed here with valuable lessons and knowledge. and while it is challenging to reconcile my present reality with what I hoped for myself, because I have a positive mindset, I just see this place as a transitional space with infinite possibilities.

Holding on to optimism

Holding on to optimism, even in the most difficult times, is what keeps me moving forward. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect or that life will always be easy, but rather about choosing to see the good, even when it’s buried beneath the weight of challenges. It’s about believing in growth, evolution, and the ability to find joy in each step of the journey—even the messy, painful, and uncertain ones.

I love the Bible verse, James 1:2-4 that says, “Count it all joy.” It’s a reminder that life itself is a gift. Each breath, each moment, is an answered prayer. And within that, there’s a joy to be found, no matter the circumstances. Of course, it requires responsibility—it’s up to me to decide how I’m going to approach what life hands me. But knowing that every moment, good or bad, carries an opportunity for joy and growth gives me the strength to keep going.

Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the hard parts of life. It means trusting that even in the hardest of times, something good can come out of it. I’ve learned to embrace this mindset not as a way to escape reality, but as a way to navigate it with grace and resilience. So, even if that makes me a Pollyanna in some people’s eyes, I’m okay with that. I choose to see the good, to count it all joy, and to believe that each step forward is one worth taking.